Cartoonist Bill Suddick’s take on The Night Before Christmas (Sort of)…in the Beach

Bill Suddick's Beach version/tribute to Clement Moore's famous poem A Visit From St. Nicholas.

It’s Christmas Eve 2021 and as we continue to deal with the uncertainty surrounding the Omicron variant of COVID-19 (and our second straight pandemic Christmas), Beach Metro Community News would like to wish all of our readers the best for the holiday season.

We know these are challenging times, but the best things we can do are to support each other — family, friends and the local businesses and service organizations that make our community so special.

For the second year in a row, Beach Metro Community News would like to share on Christmas Eve this poem and cartoon created by our cartoonist Bill Suddick many years ago. We did this on Christmas Eve of 2020, and we’d like to do so again this year. We hope it brings you a smile.

Please enjoy this Christmas Eve poem with a Beach spin to it:

 

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (SORT OF)

 

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the beach,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a leech;

The hockey socks were hung from the renovations with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

 

The raccoons were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of garbage bags danced in their heads;

And the wife with her Spritzer an’ me with scotch,

Had just settled back to watch the Leafs botch.

 

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,

I leaped from the couch and nearly emptied my bladder;

To the stained glass window I flew like a gull,

And beheld a strange scene over which I did mull!

 

What to my wondering eyes should appear,

But Santa, on a streetcar, and 8 hulking reindeer!

“Get offa’ my lawn!” I yelled at the deer,

“It’s bad enough with the DOGS around here!”

 

All donning Nikes, his coursers, they came,

And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name:

Now Jogger! Now Balmy! Now Beacher and Rugby!

On Malvern, on Hamper! On Yoga and Yuppy!

 

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,

The pawing and prancing of…a guy from the ‘Goof?’

“You’re at the wrong address!” I said with a roar,

“Deliver that Soo guy and Wonton next door!”

 

As I drew in my head and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound;

On his back was a sack filled up with neat stuff;

For the folks in the beach it was more than enough!

 

He had cat-toys for kitties, and acorns for squirrels,

Sail-boards and sports cars for boys and for girls;

He looked up at me and asked what I wanted;

I said “a Porsche!”… He looked undaunted:

 

With a wink, he reached into his bundle so heavy;

“Sorry…the best I can do is a ’68 Chevy!”

I laughed at his joke, he chuckled at mine;

I offered a beer but he had to decline;

 

“Thanks my friend, but I’m driving tonight!”

I heard him exclaim as he sped out of sight.

He headed down Queen St. and banked to the right,

Shouting: “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!!”

 

Season’s Greetings…

Bill Suddick


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