The Family Smartphone Guide by Beacher Margot Denommé helps set online safety standards for kids

By DEBORAH McNORGAN

With the gift-giving holiday season underway, many children are badgering parents for their first smartphone.

But with all the physical, psychological and legal dangers in the online world, there’s another gift that retired Crown attorney and Beach mom Margot Denommé wants families to consider first.

Her recently launched The Family Smartphone Guide provides practical tips and tools to ensure kids are equipped with the knowledge they need to thrive online while staying safe.

“You wouldn’t hand your child the keys to a car without teaching them the rules of the road,” said Denommé. “The same principle applies to smartphones and social media.”

The driver’s handbook-inspired guide equips families with a road map for the online world, covering everything from managing screen time and setting boundaries to understanding the impact of social media and preventing dangers such as cyberbullying and child luring.

The guide draws on insights from leading experts in child health and safety, including Dr. Michelle Ponti, Chair of the Digital Health Task Force for the Canadian Paediatric Society, and criminal defence counsel Julianna Greenspan.

It also includes a family contract – a powerful tool to help parents and kids commit to healthy digital habits together and make safety a priority from day one. The content includes discussion prompts, monitoring online activity, fostering open communication, and keeping the internet safe, with examples of threats and the legal consequences of online actions.

According to The Centre for Child Protection, reports of online child luring in Canada increased by a whopping 815 per cent over five years, from 220 cases in 2018 to 2,013 in 2022. Reports of sextortion also rose significantly, with a 62 per cent increase and an average of 10 cases reported daily.

According to Public Safety Canada, three in 10 Canadian youth aged 12 to 18 have experience cyberbullying.

“If that was happening in the park across the street, you’re not going to be going to that park anymore,” said Denommé, adding that parents should not hesitate to change their families’ smartphone rules. “We have to assess the situation and adjust now that we know more.”

She applauds the Australian government’s recent legislation banning social media for children under 16.

“I think it’s a great, bold statement. I love it because people need to understand how dangerous these devices are…Logistically it could have its challenges..but the fact that it raises awareness is a good thing.”

Denommé said if she were raising young children now, she would not give them a smart phone (or any screen) before Grade 9, and that one of the biggest dangers is smartphones in a child’s bedroom, where activity – including risky Tik Tok challenges, AI scams and deep fakes, and human trafficking attempts – can go unmonitored.

The digital world is complex and treacherous and parents are becoming overwhelmed as they struggle keep up, said Denommé. Parental controls aren’t enough because “kids are always going to out-tech parents.”

If worried about pushback from their kids, moms and dads should not hesitate to remind them that the phone belongs to the person paying the bills, not the person using it, and that a parent’s primary job is to keep their child safe, not to be popular.

Open communication is key, said Denommé, especially if a child does wind up in trouble, for example, after sharing explicit images of themselves or others, which can have devastating legal consequences. “Let your child know that regardless of what happens, that you are there for them and you will get through it,“ she said.

Denommé is the founder of Raising Awareness About Digital Dangers (RAADD). After 26 years as a Crown attorney, she witnessed how low self-esteem and social media can harm children.

A mother of two, she is also the author of Mommy, Am I Pretty? and is deeply concerned about the unrealistic beauty standards set by social media. In 2013, Denommé launched the Celebrate YOU! Tour, reaching more than 150 schools across Canada and the United States, promoting positive self-esteem, resilience, and self-love. She also educates parents on the mental, physical, and legal implications of smartphone use.

Denommé has also made presentations to the Canadian Paediatric Society, the Ontario Public Service and school groups, and is available for additional speaking engagements and school visits.

Locally, The Family Smartphone Guide is available at Ella Minnow Children’s Bookstore on Kingston Road, and also online.