Black Lives Here: Timothy Abbey hopes his story can be an inspiration to others
By MIMI LILIFELDT
I’m looking at a photo of a young Black man dressed in blue, the colour affiliated with his gang; his face bares a blank expression and a distant stare. It’s hard to believe he is a younger version of the man sitting across from me in this nondescript local café.
A month ago I met Timothy Abbey, a local school crossing guard. Timothy is soft spoken, highly intelligent, and has a warm calm energy.
He is acutely aware of how fortunate he is to have been able to turn his life around. He wanted to share his story with our community in hopes of inspiring someone who may be struggling like he once did.
Timothy grew up in the Dixon Road and Islington Avenue area. Timothy describes the area he grew up in as, “a gang affiliated neighbourhood”.
The neighbourhood had a lot of influence over Timothy.
By the time Timothy reached middle school he was feeling in his own words, “troubled and I got pretty violent when I was really young at school and such. I was going through a lot. I had a very tough Grade 6 year.”
When high school started, Timothy’s life went down a more sinister path.
He describes those years: “There was a season when I was in Grade 9 that I went through some dark times. I got more ‘thuggish’ or ‘gangster-ish’. I remember looking at myself in the mirror one day and I didn’t even recognize myself.”
I asked for clarification on what ‘gangster-ish’ meant and he simply said, “I was in one.”
Having zero personal experience in this world, Timothy was patient in his explanation on how he became a member of his gang.
“When I was 14 there were some guys from my neighbourhood, and they moved to another place, and I would go visit them each weekend to chill with them. And then eventually I thought to myself, you know what? I’m tired of poverty, and not having enough to do what I want to do. Not having the status, not having the lady that I want and all these different things. And I decided to join them and do what they do so that I can get a better lifestyle and such. That was my thought pattern at that time.”
At this point Timothy showed me the photo of himself from that time.
The realities of gang life are not something most of us can ever imagine, but listening to Timothy’s story and how he arrived at that point in his life were sadly easy to understand.
There are many notable things about Timothy, but the two strongest ideologies that have pulled him through are his dedication to education and his belief in God.
He lived in foster care which wasn’t perfect but as Timothy said, “It wasn’t the best, but it was OK. I still appreciate what they did.”
Shortly after moving to the foster home, Timothy woke up from a disturbing dream to discover that he was hearing voices and was admitted to hospital for psychosis.
“They put me on medication, and they treated me pretty well. I went through some tough times for sure. I was there (in the hospital) for four months,” he said.
As difficult as it was for Timothy to make it through his time in the hospital, he eventually came home and finished Grade 10.
When I asked how he had the capacity to keep going and continue attending classes he said, “I knew I wanted to finish school.”
After Grade 10 he moved from the foster home to a group home in Scarborough and then started Grade 11.
“To be honest I kind of went a little bit back into negativity in a sense. Even though when I was in the hospital, I wanted to do better and I drew closer to God at that time because I needed him to help me through what I went through. But when I was in Grade 11, I did my due diligence to still do well in school and I went to Grade 12.”
During this time Timothy met a friend “a brother in Christ” at the rec centre he went to who brought him into his church and helped him, even though he was still going through his “challenging experiences”.
Around this time Timothy received a call from a friend from his old neighbourhood who invited him to “chill” with them. Against his better judgement Timothy went to hang out with his old acquaintance and their friends, but when he got there, he realized that he’d made a mistake going by himself. “I could tell they were planning some stuff, so I knew I had to leave,” he said.
He was chased and attacked but ultimately managed to get away.
“When I finally got home, I was so happy because I know God saved my life. When I came inside the group home the woman staff said, ‘Timothy, you’re different’ and that’s when I knew I wanted to repent. So, I repented all the old stuff that I used to do, and I dedicated my life to God.”
At age 17, with renewed commitment to his faith, Timothy told his gang that he wanted to serve God and they respectfully let him go.
Against all odds, Timothy graduated from high school with honours and received the Christian Flame Award, “for rising to the challenge of education and seizing the day.”
The years following were challenging financially and he was still struggling with his mental health. “When I was 15 I was diagnosed with psychosis, but the time I was 18 it had developed into schizophrenia… I have to take medication for it. From 15 to 18, those three years were very, very tough for me. . . From 20 to 23 (years old) I went through a lot of poverty. I couldn’t get a good job.”
During a few of his post college years Timothy walked for hours everyday, hours walking and contemplating his life. As he said, “walking with God. It was powerful”.
On one such walk he saw a sign for a crossing guard company that was hiring and thought to pursue it. “It was a perfect job for me. I could be in the area and stand guard and have time to reflect and think and pray. I worked with that company for three to four years and I joined a new company last year,” he said.
Though Timothy enjoys his job, what really ignites his spirit is his music. He has been making music since he was 17 years old and has written hundreds of songs and recorded many under his YouTube name Lyrical Disciple.
Admittedly I don’t have any religious leanings myself, and yet I was moved by Timothy’s purposeful music. His earnest voice sings and raps about his life, where he’s been and what’s important to him. He is serious and sincere, but equally compelling is that whether you are interested in his message or not, his talent shines through.
Even with all his creative gifts Timothy wants to expand his education and career potential.
He told me, “I’m going to go back to school this year. When I was 22, I went to George Brown College, St. James Campus for a year in Media Foundations and I graduated their one-year certificate course. . . I’m going to go back for Business Administration and Project Management. I feel like it would be a great course for me.”
What matters most to Timothy now is doing as he said, “anything positive for the community, for the world, things that are inspirational.”
In my time with Timothy, what I took away most was that regardless of what we’ve been through, if you have community, support, and hope you can move forward with grace through this life. We can, as he says in one of his songs, “Level Up”.
— Mimi Liliefeldt is a Beach resident and business owner. She can be reached at mimi@missfit.ca
