Just when you think everything is lost, the waters part as if by magic and all is right with our world. I am referring to that recent news story proclaiming that men and women of a certain age have become numerous enough that we are able to muscle aside the power brokers and take over complete control of well nigh everything.

A popular song some years back was titled ‘Everything old is new again’, and I would suggest that those of us who fit into that category could adopt those words as our rallying cry. Out with the new and in with the old would be our motto, and about time too if you ask me.

Just ponder for a moment about how much better things would be if we got rid of those sallow 65-year-olds who only think they are running the world, and turned matters over to us sage and seasoned older folks. There are lots of ways we could help particularly in these troubled times. Task forces could be assembled from our growing ranks to visit homes and read to sleep troubled 50-year-olds who toss restlessly because they worry about the fail in the market, the rise in lending rates and the stagnation of the Canadian dollar.

And here's another plus that is worthy of consideration. Some Beach residents were saddened last winter by the lack of snow and the subsequent adverse effect that it had on some winter situations. There is enough white hair on male inhabitants in this area to completely line a toboggan chute on Beech Avenue from Kingston Road right down to Lake Ontario at which point a phalanx of sturdy Boy Scouts would bring the vehicle to a safe halt.

Some of you may have noticed that the white hair would be supplied by males only. That is because the women folks in this area are no older than 35 and therefore their collective hirsute adornment does not contain so much as a thread of the grey stuff.

But I appear to have wandered somewhat from the true thrust of this column, which is a risk I run every time I sit down in front of the family computer, so I apologize for meandering off topic, but don't you worry because you really haven't missed a thing. What I began to say is that in a numerical sense we Geezers are now in the ascendancy, and I believe we should exercise our clout. Drinking establishments should be encouraged to have Geezer hours on weekdays and I suggest they be from one to two p.m. because anything later would cut into nap time.

There are many other benefits we should pursue, and I am prepared to advocate them with a ferocity that would make the War of the Roses seem like a flower show. There should be Geezer Days at Rogers Stadium and qualified Geezers should be automatically ushered to the front of the line except at the Income Tax department, which they shouldn't have to visit anyway unless it is to pick up a handsome amount of money from that crowd up in Ottawa, which I suspect is anti-Geezer at the best of times.

If I seem a trifle apoplectic, I am sorry but we are all products of our upbringing and I remember being relegated to the back of the line on the grounds that I was just a kid and therefore not a matter of concern. Now that I am a qualified Geezer, I find the same thing happening in some locations and all I am trying to do is break that cycle. Next time we pass on Queen Street kindly escort me across the intersection whether I want to cross or not. Remember, it's the thought that counts.